I find myself not having the conversations I used to have with friends. You know you are not communicating with friends like you did before when they “take notes”!

Today while having a conversation with a dear friend, I found myself telling her things that I know I have told to her before. But this time, it seemed to be a message that I felt that most need to hear.

It may be a bit cliché, but the truth is “You need to love yourself and I mean really love yourself”.  This is true, you cannot be a full version of yourself, if you lack love for yourself. 

 The first time I told her this, she scoffed and refused to give it any thought.  In a meditation, I required her to say out loud “I love you” to herself using her name and I thought her throat would close! Her throat chakra was tight, and finally she said the words, but didn’t mean them.  For me, that was a start. But as a friend, I felt I could not push. I now realize that she left it right there where we left off. Telling yourself is not enough. Sometimes, telling yourself and meaning it is not enough.

Nothing will profoundly change in your life for the better when you loathe yourself, or qualities about yourself. When you do not love yourself, you have an exceptionally low energy or vibration. You will continue to pull toward you the same low vibes that you are putting out. We all have energy exchanges. But when it is coming from a low space, it will draw you to the same frequencies. The energy must change on your end. Nobody can waive a magic wand and make it happen. We can talk more on this later, because today is about loving yourself.

She asked me “Penny, do you love yourself?” and I replied “Yes, I do. But, I haven’t always”. I am not talking about love as in an arrogant sense. What I mean is to embrace and love who you are from a soul level. By this, I mean who you were when you were born.  Before parents, teachers, churches, relatives, class-mates, society, co-workers etc. told you who you were. They told you what you should believe, what not to believe, rules to follow, how to act, how not to act. Finally, somewhere along the way, you lose you. You not only do not love yourself, but you may also not even like who you are! In this case, this was my friend. She knows she has a good heart; she is compassionate and is a huge empath. She is the embodiment of kindness to others.  She does love that about herself. So that is where we started. Often, those with big hearts lose what I call your ‘Boundary Center’.

Because you are off people pleasing, helping others, doing for everyone except yourself, you have lost total control of your center. Your center is where you will find the true you. The true you equals pure love. Doing all these things for others, had her angry, hurt and feeling used. She was giving from a space that she had nothing to give. Her cup was not full of love.  

You cannot pour anything out of an empty cup. It is not possible. But yet, we as humans try and do it all the time. Depleting what little you have will surely cause havoc. Loving yourself and doing things for yourself daily will fill that cup up. You will operate from a higher frequency of love and attract love.

You need to set loving boundaries. It seems that people in her family have used her in the recent past for money.  When I explained “boundaries” it made more sense. Some people just think when you use that phrase that you just say no; this is not the case.  It is a process to figure out exactly where to come from with love and love for yourself.

Using this example, I asked her “If I came to you and I asked you for $100 so that I could put gas in my car to do my job, so that I could earn money by carrying out my appointments, would you give it to me?”  See, this may seem like a trick, because she knows we just had the people pleasing conversation. So, she was a little confused. Then she said “you have never asked me for money before. I know your heart and I know if you asked me, you would really need it”. But what she did was listen to her heart space and her boundary center. She didn’t immediately feel burdened by the question. She didn’t feel upset, angry or hurt.  It was a different energy all together. From there the question can be viewed and answered from your “Boundary Center”.  What in this situation is the right thing to do? What should it look like if I give my friend the money? What is my (meaning her) expectations about it; is it a gift or a loan? How do I feel about lending or giving her money? Do I need this money more?

I explained she will still be able to do things to help someone and show compassion. Knowing that I have never asked her for money was a big clue with her gauging her own personal compass. When doing things for others, without any expectations and no pains from doing it you most likely are operating from a love space and from that love is received.  Its learning to know the difference.

It also needed to be clear that she can help other people and have boundaries. Honestly, this is one way to show yourself the love you deserve. It is ok to people please and all other things mentioned, but not at your own expense. That is a good lesson in showing love and respect for yourself.

Do you want to know more how to operate on a daily basis like this? Do you want to know how to begin to love yourself again? I would love to help you with this journey back to your true self. I would also like to help you with learning the energy and how to be true to your boundary center.  Operating daily from a higher frequency brings joy and abundance to your life and it all begins and ends with love. If so please reach out to me. You can also check out my website at www.healingforlifewithpenny.com

With love, light and hugs,

Penny