Having worked in an addiction rehabilitation home for almost a year, I have found that this field consistently challenged, surprised, and taught me quite a few things. I was there to teach. Yet, I was taught so many lessons.

Certain aspects of working in addiction are useful and indeed important. For anyone planning to embark on a placement, volunteer role or new job in this arena, it can be extremely rewarding but sometimes challenging. I often took this work home with me and was urged to change things in my current arena.

It seems obvious, given the statistics, that those routinely consuming large amounts of drugs and/or alcohol are at risk of death or incarceration. However, when I first began working in a residential rehabilitation service, getting to know the personalities, aspirations, progress, the real lives of the residents and spending time with them on a weekly basis, it was difficult to imagine any of them succumbing to their addictions. It was difficult for me to imagine that they would even consider returning to this world of addiction.

But, during my time there, several clients whom I had gotten to know well, were suddenly found using on site and some even after they graduated, despite successful completion of the program. Some didn’t finish the program and just wanted to go back to what was familiar. Traumas were not healed, but left to plague them. This is something I still struggle with in this field. I learned that it is important to gain a balance between examining such situations for anything that could be improved upon, from a professional perspective, and accepting that despite our best intentions as practitioners, impulsive, high risk behavior and relapse are unfortunately highly prevalent in the addictive cycle. This was my hugest lesson.

It quickly became apparent to me that addiction ravages not only bodies and minds, but the individual’s sense and knowledge of themselves. Clients who had been engaged in active addiction for prolonged periods were often unable to identify ostensibly simple things such as a favorite color, food, song or a place. I would ask simple questions trying to get to the root of a situation. But, I noticed things that didn’t register the way they did in my brain. The loop that constantly played in their minds was very different than the loops in mine. Yet they all connect. It’s all relevant. A loop is simply a loop that will continue to play if you allow it. If it is not stopped, scratched or annihilated.. it will continue to play. Those who want to continue with their addiction use their loop(s) and unhealed traumas as a means to use.

I know for some, their daily experience had become a repetitive blur, such that these details fell from memory and importance or were never established. Emotions became difficult to recognize, explain and manage. Moral learnings, personal boundaries, whether behaviors and styles are truly natural, or performative and survival based – all of this can become difficult to determine for those who have been affected by addiction for a long time. A hugely important, and satisfying, part of therapeutic work is helping clients rebuild their sense of who they are and their connection to themselves. Recovery is only partly about detoxifying from the substance at hand. Getting to the root of many of their traumas was key.

Always a reason

Upon disclosing to some that I was coaching guys with addiction, I was sometimes met with responses such as ‘Why would they even take drugs?  I found for many, it was a lifestyle learned at an early age. It was acceptable to do drugs or drink at a young age.  For even some, they were encouraged to participate with adults as a child. Many needed the escape from things that happened throughout their lifetime and some maybe just one tragic event after another. Drugs/Alcohol seemed to be the solution. A bad coping solution it was, but from that, addiction begins.

The notion that addiction is often a response to trauma is, fortunately, becomingly increasingly well understood in society. It has been estimated that around two-thirds of those seeking treatment for alcohol and substance misuse have experienced a traumatic life event. I really felt this is where my area of expertise would help.  Treating the trauma and the energy around the trauma was my goal. Each individual had their own personal story. It was not a one size fits all answer. The most helpful thing I think I provided was that I truly cared. I walked in that door with love and abundance for each of them.

So, here is a small warning. For the people that engage with dangerous substances on a regular basis, and maybe at times seemingly unaware that they are doing so….. to those who ‘casually’ consume ……….sometimes do so for the same reasons as those who consume on an addictive level: simply to cope and survive. But beware, it is how it starts.

Changes being witnessed

I wasn’t sure to what degree people could change until I began working with men recovering from addiction. I witnessed people go from ignoring I was in the room, to asking and talking, from thinking only of themselves to reaching out to family whom they had hurt, to not being able to look me even fleetingly in the eye to delivering their story to a room full of peers. Powerful things can happen when you open up your heart and begin to heal. I hope I left them all with that “knowing”.

Addiction is extremely challenging to navigate and overcome and of course not all are able to do so long term. I understand that. I hate it, but I get it. I know they understood that even though sobriety is their choice, it didn’t feel like it.  But the subtle to sizeable changes and achievements I witnessed many make over time was truly profound and astonishing. It was undoubtedly my favorite aspect of the role of facilitator.

This field is daunting, even unappealing, for many. However, I would encourage practitioners, coaches, healers and others interested in building resilience, awareness of societal issues, who have a strong sense of empathy and compassion, to consider a venture into this fascinating  area. It can be very rewarding knowing that you might have saved someone’s life in the process. Not as dramatic, maybe you shifted enough energy from trauma so that they will continue to do so for themselves. This is my hope for all I touched in that short amount of time.

 A little love goes a long way.

Penny