I have been told all my life that I should write a book. Looking back…maybe so.Today I stepped on the scale and with total disgust, felt the need to journal and get things back on track for me.  Why journal, I thought.  Nothing to hold me accountable….just my thoughts on paper. Who cares.

How the hell did I get here?  Where in the hell do I go from here?  The heaviest I have ever been, depressed, unhappy and why?I know there has got to be women my age that are asking the same question and keep feeling like they are hitting a wall!!!

I’ve always felt in control, in an out of control way.  Does this make sense?  It gets worse as I age. I find recipes, emotional stories, positive pages, post funny things on my facebook pg and yet here I am.  If you want to follow me for my English fopaux, you might get a chuckle here and there too. I don’t care about journaling or blogging to have my English critiqued.  But I am sure I will!

 57 years old and stuck.

Let’s start with now and work our way back and then forward and back again.  That seems to be my life pattern.

I want to make people laugh, cry and think “I am not alone”. So, what I am doing today is opening up my world, my pain, my happiness, joys, fears and funnies to you. Please join me and maybe I just might bring some LOVE & LAUGHTER into your life with my penny for thoughts.  More soon!!

My thought today is I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING to take control. I never want to see that number on the scale again.  That is one thing I am sure of! (yes, I am going to end sentences in prepositional phrases too)  I have to get back to LOVE. Love is key. I am not sure how to do it or the course it will take to get there….but I am going.