Recently I had a really good friend to help me with clearing out some energy that was stuck. I had recently learned about a childhood trauma and was overwhelmed with emotions.  So much made sense, but how can a mind not remember these things (this is a topic for another day!) A dear friend offered to help me with a special modality she had learned with dealing with childhood trauma. I agreed to let her help. I looked up her info and found out how much she typically charges for this type of healing. I paid her online through her site.

A few days later, she sent my money back through the app I paid her.  I had marked it as an offering, so I was a bit confused.  I reached out to her and asked her why she sent it back. She responded “I am not going to take your money.  This was a gift from me to you and I never expected to get paid.”

I got a little upset. I mean not super offended….because she is a friend.  But it bothered me that she wouldn’t receive my offering (gift) and I felt she didn’t understand the gift she gave me with her healing technique.

I know this……The act of receiving with gratitude allows the giver to feel joy. Giving and receiving is a two-way exchange of energy that can nourish both parties, as long as the receiver can receive. And so it is.

We continued what felt like a debate. She insisted that she really just wanted to help my. She went on to say that it really wasn’t that much, and friends help other friends. I tried every way possible to win this debate. I like winning.

Then it hit me!!!   I realized I was doing the same thing I was criticizing her for. How could I ask her to receive if I couldn’t receive the gift she was giving me by helping me out for free?  I love what she stands for as a human and her integrity is impeccable. I did see the gift she was giving me and I did not mean to act ungrateful.

We both agree in this one basic law of the universe—that you deny a person the basic joy of giving if you do not receive. But by not receiving her gift I was not being the best steward to honor her or myself. My resistance was stopping up the flow of abundance, and I was denying her joy. I believed that she was stopping up the flow by being unable to receive my offering. Instead of feeling happy and excited over being able to pay her, I felt rejected, which I know wasn’t her intent.

It’s all about connection, flow, and exchange of energy. The act of giving and receiving! There is a need for both.

When a person gives (energy, time, money, love, kindness) and someone receives it openly and gratefully, there’s then an open, flowing channel for more energy, time, money, love, and kindness to flow. Your heart (and abundance) is in the receiving hands. Understanding this means that I should have gladly accepted her gift of help. Instead, I was stuck in the need to be right and I couldn’t practice the lesson that I actually try and teach to others!!! Lesson Moment!

But we are taught very young, these rules and belief’s around giving and receiving. No parent wants to teach their kid to be selfish, so we teach them to put everyone else first. Instead, We need to teach our children and their children to be mindful of their own needs and those they love equally? Wouldn’t you agree?

Wouldn’t it be nice to give freely from an overflow of energy, time, money, love, and kindness rather than try to give from our reserves and end up burning out? I think it would be super duper awesome! This kind of giving feels effortless, but it has to come from a fully nourished you. That is the lesson within the lesson here.

We can do this by receiving and nurturing ourselves first. Here are a few ways you can nurture yourself.

Rest when tired.

I know that if I am exhausted, nobody will benefit. I take opportunities to get extra sleep when I can and I listen to my body and relax when it gives me signs of pain or fatigue. Pushing through pain or fatigue only depletes you further and increases the risk of illness or injury. Trust me, I was an expert at this.

Say NO more often to allow time for rest and rejuvenation.

It’s hard to say no if you are a giver. But saying yes to everything will burn you out and fast. I have learned to prioritize my life in a way that helps me only say yes when I really mean it so I can give from a place of excess. I was taught that it is better to give than to receive. It took along time to undo that one. Honor yourself and say no if it doesn’t align with you.

Ask for and accept help when necessary.

I have learned that asking for help is crucial and I have gotten better at asking for and receiving it. You won’t get extra credit for doing it alone. You will just burn out. Often, like my story above, people do want to help! Let them!

Be Quiet

Carving out time in my day for stillness, quiet, meditation, breathing and journaling is so important to replenish my energy. This is a must for me first thing in the morning if possible. I don’t fine the need going from sunrise to sundown without a break. I have nothing to prove to anyone. This is another old habit. Your mind needs to be still and quiet. Let it.

Give and Receive

I recognize the voice that tells me I’m not worthy of receiving. I can also recognize guilt as an old, conditioned way of feeling. Once you understand the amazing flow that is created when there is an equal exchange of giving and receiving, you will look at each moment as an opportunity to do things a little differently.

When you fill your own cup first, you will be fiercely alive, and overflowing with energy and enthusiasm. Then you can give from the cup that is spilling over. You cannot pour anything out of an empty cup!

So how can you give the gift of receiving? By receiving, you not only nourish yourself, you will nourish and empower the giver. The real flow of giving and receiving can help heal!!!

With Hugs and Love,

Penny